Alternatively titled: The New Testament does not Make things Betterjesus5

One of the things that inevitably comes up when discussing the Bible with Christians is the idea that Jesus came along, abolished the somewhat harsh rules (read: Evil rules) of the Old Testament and set up a New Covenant with the people of all the Earth. No longer were Jews solely the recipients of God’s direction and love, no no no no, now the whole world had a chance to get to know the God who had previously limited himself to one small corner of the inhabited world.

The idea that now we don’t have to worry about the first 2/3rds of the Bible because Jesus said Love God and Love thy neighbor are the whole of the law is an absurd one Biblically speaking. For one thing this presumes that God has different morals for different groups of people annihilating any idea that God’s morals are absolute. God thought slavery was okay for the ancient Hebrews but not for anyone today? Okay but that’s not in the Bible. God thought it was a good idea to brutally execute homosexuals in the Old Testament but now only those without sin can cast the first stone? Okay but the earliest manuscripts of the Gospel don’t contain that story at all.

Of course this shows that God has different standards not just for different groups of humans but for himself vs humans as well. God apparently wants homosexuals killed, we know that this is his base desire because he gives the Law to Moses in Leviticus. But now God is ready to forgive all mankind through the magical Jesus Loophole Contract Clause but does that mean his fundamental opinion of homosexuals as depraved sinners deserving of death has changed? Not according to many modern Christians who still hold that, while all human beings are depraved and worthy of death, homosexuals are certainly among those God will send to Hell specifically for that act.

And this is where we get into the meat of this horseshit sandwich the Bible and Christians serve up about how the New Testament is more loving and more peaceful and erases all that bad stuff in the Old Testament. The New Testament presents us a far more wicked and unjust God than even the vengeful and spiteful Demi-Urge of the Old Testament. Why? Because the New Testament invents a brand new place for all the sinners and demons to reside after judgment day – Hell.

In the Old Testament there are two basic views of the afterlife. The first, found in books like Ecclesiastes (another underrated jewel amidst the bullshit of the Bible) is that death is the end, there is no after life awaiting anyone. The second is that there is a general land of the dead called Sheol, the grave or pit, where everyone goes, sinner and righteous man alike. The only folks to avoid this fate are those uber-righteous chosen by God, which consists of Enoch, Elijah and in some people’s opinion Moses as well (generally those taken up to Heaven without ever tasting of death).

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In the New Testament the authors of the Gospels introduce a far more sinister idea of Hell, with Jesus using the reference point of a real world place called Gehenna, a trash heap that constantly smoldered with flame, to describe the opposite of Heaven. The wicked, the unrepentant, the unbelievers and the unkind would go to Hell while those who accepted Christ and forsook their former life to follow his example would go to Heaven. It’s important to note that Jesus’ message is more consistent about Hell than most of the rest of the New Testament, although not entirely consistent. Jesus says that those who feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and help and love others will be better received than those who merely talk a good game about religion but who are ultimately empty. There is an emphasis on sincerity, selflessness and true repentance/belief and a denouncing of the self-righteous religious establishment of Jesus’ day.

The image of Christianity we get from Jesus is far different, drastically separate, from what the Christian religion is doing today and I suspect that is part of the reason why people are abandoning organized religion in droves.

Getting back to the bullshit Jesus suggests that the fate of those told to depart from him on the day of judgment is that they will go into “EVERLASTING FIRE” and thus we get the basis for the doctrine of hell. The idea that the body and soul will be thrown into Hell to be burned for eternity where the worm does not die and the fire is not quenched. This terrifying picture of Hell, as a place of everlasting torture, where our flesh will be roasted for eternity without reprieve, over and over again for trillions and trillions and trillions of years with no goal or purpose save pure sadism.

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(Although not in the Bible many Christians believed demons would torture people in Hell and incorporated this into artwork. According to the actual Bible the fallen angels are going to be too busy ALSO being horribly tortured to do any torturing to us)

There can be no more evil a thought than the idea of eternal hellfire for human beings especially when this is justified through the use of Original Sin as it is in the New Testament.

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So death and sin are part of the human condition thanks to Adam, we’re all sinners irregardless of whether we so much as break a commandment of the Mosaic Law (of which there are over 600). This doctrine, in certain branches of Christianity (Calvinism for example) is called the doctrine of TOTAL DEPRAVITY. This obscenely anti-human doctrine holds that all human beings are born totally depraved, evil, wicked from the very start, including children and people who live good lives, at their core they are not good, they are evil by no fault of their own. Yet God would condemn people for being evil by no fault of their own.

Jesus talks more about Hell than anyone in the entire Bible and so when Christians bring up the love and forgiveness of Christ I bring up Hell and the quite apparent fact that according to the scriptures most human beings will be victims not of God’s divine and irrevocable mercy but of God’s wrath, poured out in a place of smoke and burning flesh where the torment shall not cease, ever, under any circumstances. At the point of damnation God refuses to ever attempt to rehabilitate or show any mercy to the person he damns. This is both monstrously (and obviously) evil and incredibly arbitrary.

The whole thing, of course, wreaks of salesmanship. An apocalyptic prophet named Jesus can threaten you not merely with punishments in the physical here and now but with supernatural punishments after you’re dead. Of course for Jesus the end of the world was right around the corner, he even told his followers that some of them would still be alive when he returned to judge the Earth. He was, by all accounts, an apocalyptic first century Jewish prophet.

By the time Jesus had his ministry there was an apocalyptic belief gaining popularity that at the end of time all men would be resurrected and judged and Christianity uses this heavily in its promotion of the perversely evil doctrine of Hell. But what is so evil about judging human beings and rewarding the good while punishing the wicked. Well on the surface this seems like a rather normal thing to do but human beings have a pretty good grasp on the concept of justice. One thing that the concept of justice tells us is that not all crimes require equal sentences.

Murder and littering do not both carry the same penalty but both are legally and, arguably, morally wrong. So why does something like lying earn an eternity in Hell as well as something like murder? Why are Hitler, child molesters and peaceful Buddhist monks all going to an eternity of horrific torture from which there is no escape. Now some Christians will say “well the punishment varies” but of course this is misleading nonsense that is not to be found in the Bible. It’s called the LAKE OF FIRE for a reason and implying that some people are only going to have their flesh melted off slowly while others will be mercifully thrust into the flames in rapid less painful bursts of agony makes it no less evil. Neither does implying that Hell is somehow mere annihilation in flame make it particularly merciful. Some Christians hold the view that while the flame does not die in Hell the people do eventually burn up and die and then they simply cease to exist. I fail to see how burning someone alive is merciful, though it is less monstrous then placing them in an indestructible body to be burned for eternity it is still one of the most evil things you can do to a person.

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The problem with the idea that Jesus’ peace and love philosophy can redeem not just mankind but also the horrors of the Old Testament is that Jesus doesn’t have any sort of enlightened or rational beliefs to build off of. The Bible is filled with theology, fables, laws and tales of blood and guts but there isn’t much philosophy going on in its pages. Jesus isn’t Socrates or Hume, he’s Jesus, a Jewish “Rabbi” teaching to a smattering of followers in Roman occupied Palestine. All he can do is build off of earlier ideas and add his own spin to them, which yes involves the Golden Rule and Love Thy Neighbor but also involves fearing God for God can throw “body and soul” into Hell. Not to mention the immoral set up of vicarious redemption, that Jesus is a scapegoat which the most vile, murderers, rapists, molesters, can cling and be forgiven provided their belief and repentance are sincere but that a selfless monk of some Eastern faith is deserving of condemnation because he did not profess with his mouth or believe with his heart that Jesus was Lord.

Of course Jesus’ teachings are in doubt ALSO because we don’t know which of them, if any, belonged to the actual historical figure of Jesus. In fact we don’t know with any real certainty whether or not Jesus ever existed as a real historical person. Of course it is not a shocking thing to think that there was a cult-leader named Jesus at that time in that place.

So the problems for Christians are many. They must explain why they think Gospels written 30-100 years after the events in question are reliable sources for what Jesus said. They must explain why Jesus would promote such an immoral teaching as Hell if God is actually good. And they must explain how such evil teachings in any way shape or form make Jesus and the New Testament BETTER morally speaking than the Old Testament. Well really they don’t have to explain any of this, they can believe whatever horseshit they want and rationalize it how they see fit…

But rest assured that those of us with a functioning concept of what is right and wrong, what is just and unjust, who are willing to apply that without reservation or fear to the Bible see right through your mental gymnastics and apologetic tomfoolery.

So Fuck the Bible, and Fuck the New Testament especially, for inventing Hell and informing us that God doesn’t just want SOME sinners stoned to death in certain circumstances, he thinks ALL sinners deserve to be burned forever for eternity just for being born with Adam’s Original Sin nature. Immoral bullshit.

I will restate here that the threat of hell, for any intellectually free person, carries no more weight than the threat of any other supernatural consequence for which there is no evidence and no rational basis for believing in. It’s a boogey-man style consequence, watch what you say, watch what you think, you are in danger of blasphemy, of calling down wrath. Frightening to those who believe but much like threatening a child who no longer believes in Santa that Santa will reward unbelievers with coal. Such transparent thuggery may douse the doubts of the faithful who dare to question but have no sway over unbelievers and those who approach the material with a neutral position.

The Bible is one of those books that just keeps on giving. You’d think there’d be a limit to the insane depravity of its God. I mean we’re talking about a being capable of anything, any wondrous miracle beyond imagination, who mercilessly drowns everyone because they won’t listen to him… even though he hasn’t been down to Earth to set any rules since that whole Eden thing went south.

You’d also think that burning people in a Lake of Fire for all eternity is pretty bad. Well some will suffer horrific fates evem BEFORE they burn forever. Today’s tale of horror from the ancient haunted crypt of Biblical bullshit is found in Jeremiah 19. The people in this story have been performing human sacrifices to Baal, Yahweh’s main enemy. Both Yahweh and Baal are storm gods, they bring thunder, smoke, fire from the sky and rain (see the story of Elijah testing Baal and Yahweh in 1 Kings).

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So people have been sacrificing children, you might expect such an act to piss God off pretty badly. I mean its hard to imagine anything more sick, twisted and delusional than killing a person or animal and using the blood and body parts as some kind of magical appeasement to call down the blessings of, or block the wrath of, an invisible supernatural force. Oh wait, that’s right, Yahweh likes sacrifices. If you read Jeremiah 19, and I hope you’ve already googled it by now and are reading, it never says Yahweh is upset about the act of human sacrifice itself (although it does mention the spilling of innocent blood). Rather it seems Yahweh is more keen on the fact that these sacrifices are to his main rival, Baal (from which we get the term Beelzebub).

So what rescue plan might we expect a good and righteous God to cook up and what fair but tough punishment might he bring down on the sickos who are sacrificing children on altars? Is it

A) He teleports the children to safety and traps the parents in the phantom zone

B) He sends the Israelites to get the children out and THEN sends down hellfire Sodom and Gomorrah style.

C) He causes great calamity and tragedy to befall the city in such a way that it will cause starvation leading to MASS CANNIBALISM specifically including parents devouring their sons and daughters. Forever the city will be cursed.

D) He does nothing.

It we were going by the real world answer, it would be D, since God doesn’t exist he doesn’t ACTUALLY do anything … BUT in the story the answer is actually C. C for tasty tasty Cannibalism.

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This stomach turning horseshit makes Yahweh out to be a completely petty jealous megalomaniac. His reaction to the idea that this cult is more popular than his and is SACRIFICING CHILDREN apparently doesn’t involve any rescue op to get these kids out of danger. In fact the kids endangered by these insane religious practices are just part of God’s revenge against Baal and his followers, destined to be devoured when the wrath starts pouring out.

So here’s where the obvious part comes in, God never did any of this shit, I mean story-wise his character did but since he doesn’t exist the cruelty here is either fictional or a representation of what the batshit crazy Israelites were doing to people via their sieges (driving them to acts of mass cannibalism) – probably the former option here. What we have is a story written by human beings, which is portraying the Israelites as a warlike people with a powerful and jealous God. To rally the troops and the people prophets often spoke for Yahweh and this case is no different, God’s voice is conveyed to us through the voice of the prophet, which is through the pen of someone else, which is through the translation of someone else, followed by another edit, than another translation, etc… on and on and on until it gets to us.

Fuck the Bible for promoting such a wretched idea as going to war so hard against another culture they devour their own children. No loving God, no loving human, would ever be in favor of this and there are no mental gymnastics or apologetic tricks that can take away the meaning of the words.

If you are willing to admit that this is just a story written by humans, that all the Bible is is stories to be judged o. their own merits apart from any presuppositions about their truth or about dire consequences for doubt, thank you.

And for those anti-theists and fellow atheists, don’t shy away from being passionate, angry or offensive. The BIBLE is offensive, it has caused, war, bloodshed and discrimination and STILL IS doing so around the world. Fuck that fucking book. Pick up your unholy hand grenades of truth and upside down crosses of reason, we have scripture to deconsecrate.

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There is no reason to be intimidated by any threats of hellfire or of them being “offended”. We are not beholden to their beliefs and do not owe their beliefs any more respect than we’d give to Scientology, crystal healing or any other outright bullshit and quackery. Merely because their parasitic belief system and evil book are embedded in our culture does not mean we should be afraid to speak out or worried about hurting feelings. The Bible is harmful, Christianity is harmful, stop babying believers.

Alternatively titled Yahweh is METAL AS FUCK.

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Any Christians stumbling across this might be tempted to see just another angry atheist spouting angry hate-filled nonsense about the Bible. How, they might ask, could some atheist on the internet possibly judge the God of the Bible? What gives him the right? Well for one thing this view presupposes the truth or specialness of the Bible, an unreasonable presupposition if ever there was one. It’d be like if I, as a huge fan of Star Wars, argued that anyone who criticizes it and its creator George Lucas have no right to do so. We’re dealing with a literary work or rather a series of them written by anonymous authors across the course of centuries and later cobbled together into a compilation by Constantine and his cronies in the 4th Century.

The first assumption here, though it is a hidden one, seems to be that a religious document deserves some kind of special treatment, as though because it claims to reveal the hidden truths of supernatural forces at work in the world it somehow elevates itself above criticism to at least some small degree. This simply isn’t true and very few Christians would offer the same deference and respect to the scriptures of other faiths, such as Mormonism, Islam or Hinduism – this despite Hinduism being our oldest surviving religion far pre-dating Jewish monotheism.

But even if a Christian were willing to offer the same elevated level of importance to other works of religious thought by default they would still be mistaken in doing so. Simply because something claims to have some revelatory power in regards to the supernatural does not mean we treat it as though we must be careful in our questioning of it. For one thing there is another hidden assumption, sometimes outright stated by Christians, that the mere act of questioning God or the Bible somehow might bring down wrath. But of course this warning looks ridiculous to the outsiders and only frightens those who already believe, scaring them away from their doubts by threats of hellfire or other supernatural reprisals.

Of course I could point out how vile and evil such thuggery is, to beat back into submission the faithful who dare to doubt with promises that hellfire is licking at their heels. Its not just death they are threatened with but eternal torment never to be escaped from and thus such a threat is at once an empty one – in that it carries no force of reality and is completely fantasy to those outside the cult – and a completely wicked one as it terrorizes those who hold some degree of belief however small.

So when I judge the Bible I am not looking at it as some kind of ultimate authority, at least not anymore. Because I, like many atheists, was raised a Christian, taught to believe in the fundamentalist viewpoint, taught that the Bible was the perfect word of God and it was only man failing to interpret it correctly that made any doubt possible. And so with awe and passion and a desire to seek the real truth and have God be revealed to me I read the Bible in its entirety and with that act I delivered the first blow to my belief in God.

Like a Labyrinth stacked high with minotaur shit I found my way out of the muck of Christianity slowly but surely. Now, years later, I can stand on the rim of that great feces ridden maze and see the rotten broken down walls of the Bible (Labyrinth) are nothing without the indomitable mountains of bullshit and the brow-beating the minotaur inflicts upon the lost souls wandering in that squalid maze.

So no I will not respect anyone’s beliefs though I may respect their right to hold those beliefs. And I will not respect the Bible because I’ve actually read it and – here’s the important part – refused to be threatened by its passages. I will not pull any punches or shy away from anger, passion, conviction and righteous indignation.

Don’t think that this will be all negative, I’m going to be having plenty of fun informing anyone who actually reads this of all the fun shit in the Bible that you don’t know about and that your parents probably wouldn’t have told you about when you were in Sunday School. Like the softcore erotica that is Song of Solomon.

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You should look it up, do it right now, its easily one of the best books of the Bible.

Or perhaps something that pushes God into such dark territory that it sounds like something Satan would do. Maybe something that makes Yahweh look METAL AS FUCK. Such as this description of a plague that went on to inspire some awesome face melting special effects in Spielberg’s excellent movie Raiders of the Lost Ark.

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No this blog will not merely be vitriol and anger, there will plenty of fun-poking, insults and bizarre shit that somehow made it into the ‘Good Book’. So stay-tuned and spread the word.

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This first post is just meant to give some idea as to what this blog will consist of and why it exists.

I am much more confident in declaring what I know to be false than in asserting what is actually true. If there is one thing I know with unflinching certainty it is that the Bible, the collection of myths, fables and historical fictions, depicts in its pages one of the most monstrously evil deities ever concocted by the minds of men. The Bible is not just bullshit, it’s DANGEROUS bullshit, believed by billions of people worldwide. Some of these people appear to be rational and reasonable but somewhere in their minds is the poison of religion.

The stinger of being indoctrinated into the death cult that is Christianity has many barbs and for so many it is a lifelong affliction. For some the toxin digs deep, permeating through every thought process, blurring the lines between actual mental illness and batshit crazy religious irrationality. For others it is a cultural thing, something to do to strengthen ones resolve, to be comforted and to merely have a sense of community, belonging and love.

Unfortunately for those Christians who are pleasantly entranced by their religious beliefs the truth of the Bible is far from pleasant.

In this blog I will look at the Bible from a point of absolute rejection of its central premises, its fumbling attempts at morality and its more bizarre and little known passages. Above all the goal of #FucktheBible is to get people to actually read the Bible and come to the conclusion that its God is the product of mankind making shit up. You may think having Christians reach the conclusion that the God of the Bible is imaginary is an unreasonable goal BUT they ALREADY believe that for 99.9% of all other gods that ever existed.

How does the desert God Yahweh/El hold up against scrutiny? How do the behaviors, actions, attitudes and attributes of this God indicative of his being designed by humans? This blog will explore scripture and doctrine to expose Christianity and its scripture as an anti-human death cult centered around ritual blood-magic that culminated in a brutal human sacrifice all while being built upon Judaism, a vile bronze age mythology and set of amazingly unjust laws.

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