Alternatively titled Yahweh is METAL AS FUCK.
Any Christians stumbling across this might be tempted to see just another angry atheist spouting angry hate-filled nonsense about the Bible. How, they might ask, could some atheist on the internet possibly judge the God of the Bible? What gives him the right? Well for one thing this view presupposes the truth or specialness of the Bible, an unreasonable presupposition if ever there was one. It’d be like if I, as a huge fan of Star Wars, argued that anyone who criticizes it and its creator George Lucas have no right to do so. We’re dealing with a literary work or rather a series of them written by anonymous authors across the course of centuries and later cobbled together into a compilation by Constantine and his cronies in the 4th Century.
The first assumption here, though it is a hidden one, seems to be that a religious document deserves some kind of special treatment, as though because it claims to reveal the hidden truths of supernatural forces at work in the world it somehow elevates itself above criticism to at least some small degree. This simply isn’t true and very few Christians would offer the same deference and respect to the scriptures of other faiths, such as Mormonism, Islam or Hinduism – this despite Hinduism being our oldest surviving religion far pre-dating Jewish monotheism.
But even if a Christian were willing to offer the same elevated level of importance to other works of religious thought by default they would still be mistaken in doing so. Simply because something claims to have some revelatory power in regards to the supernatural does not mean we treat it as though we must be careful in our questioning of it. For one thing there is another hidden assumption, sometimes outright stated by Christians, that the mere act of questioning God or the Bible somehow might bring down wrath. But of course this warning looks ridiculous to the outsiders and only frightens those who already believe, scaring them away from their doubts by threats of hellfire or other supernatural reprisals.
Of course I could point out how vile and evil such thuggery is, to beat back into submission the faithful who dare to doubt with promises that hellfire is licking at their heels. Its not just death they are threatened with but eternal torment never to be escaped from and thus such a threat is at once an empty one – in that it carries no force of reality and is completely fantasy to those outside the cult – and a completely wicked one as it terrorizes those who hold some degree of belief however small.
So when I judge the Bible I am not looking at it as some kind of ultimate authority, at least not anymore. Because I, like many atheists, was raised a Christian, taught to believe in the fundamentalist viewpoint, taught that the Bible was the perfect word of God and it was only man failing to interpret it correctly that made any doubt possible. And so with awe and passion and a desire to seek the real truth and have God be revealed to me I read the Bible in its entirety and with that act I delivered the first blow to my belief in God.
Like a Labyrinth stacked high with minotaur shit I found my way out of the muck of Christianity slowly but surely. Now, years later, I can stand on the rim of that great feces ridden maze and see the rotten broken down walls of the Bible (Labyrinth) are nothing without the indomitable mountains of bullshit and the brow-beating the minotaur inflicts upon the lost souls wandering in that squalid maze.
So no I will not respect anyone’s beliefs though I may respect their right to hold those beliefs. And I will not respect the Bible because I’ve actually read it and – here’s the important part – refused to be threatened by its passages. I will not pull any punches or shy away from anger, passion, conviction and righteous indignation.
Don’t think that this will be all negative, I’m going to be having plenty of fun informing anyone who actually reads this of all the fun shit in the Bible that you don’t know about and that your parents probably wouldn’t have told you about when you were in Sunday School. Like the softcore erotica that is Song of Solomon.
You should look it up, do it right now, its easily one of the best books of the Bible.
Or perhaps something that pushes God into such dark territory that it sounds like something Satan would do. Maybe something that makes Yahweh look METAL AS FUCK. Such as this description of a plague that went on to inspire some awesome face melting special effects in Spielberg’s excellent movie Raiders of the Lost Ark.
No this blog will not merely be vitriol and anger, there will plenty of fun-poking, insults and bizarre shit that somehow made it into the ‘Good Book’. So stay-tuned and spread the word.