Archives for category: Human Sacrifice

Alternatively Titled: Mutilations, Sacrificing your Own Child and Why your Wife Should STFU until Church is Over

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In the last post we started talking a little bit about how the Bible dictates ways in which we should interact with our families, particularly our children. The God of the Bible seems to support beating kids and, in numerous situations, gathering together everyone in town to help beat our own children to death.

Of course there are a host of other bizarre and disturbing passages of the Bible which demonstrate that it’s God considers himself owner of his chosen people.

Take, for example, the mass genital mutilation of circumcision. Once a Jewish custom in today’s world circumcision is the normal despite the fact that it provides little or no benefit while removing the most sensitive nerve endings of the penis from a child that isn’t old enough to understand or consent to ANY operation – let alone one as pointless as circumcision. Such genital mutilation is now considered normal in our society and we have the fucked up pages of the Bible to thank for that.

Yahweh, God of the Bible, is obsessed with foreskins, for reasons that are never fully explained he sates his fetish for foreskin by having his people mark their covenant with him by cutting off their own… but then he also has them do this to their unsuspecting children. This alone is stomach-churning and sick. The idea that God, after having created his amazing and perfect creation, would want men to disfigure themselves in such a way is weird and disturbing but inflicting it on children who don’t know any better, when it serves no purpose other than as a ritual, is immoral and evil.

God sets up this system of sex organ disfigurement through Abraham instructing Abraham to perform the act on himself before turning his blade on his eight day old son Isaac. Yes God apparently gives Abraham the surgical advice on how to do the operation, an act that I imagine would have raised eyebrows and been impossible to complete if Abraham had been a real actual person and God had not been fictional as well. Of course given what Abraham was later instructed to do, sacrifice his own son, it isn’t surprising that he was willing to go through with this small act of absolute horror when he would have put a dagger in his own son had God not revealed that he was just fucking with the old man.

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The most disturbing verses about circumcision don’t have much to do with families but I’ll share them here. While David and Saul are fighting the Philistines the Bible depicts Saul as descending into madness as David rises through the ranks following the slaying of Goliath. Saul is getting really jealous and what’s worse God has sent an evil spirit to deceive him. No you’ve read that right, God has sent an evil spirit and revoked his own spirit from Saul. You can read along in 1 Samuel 18 if you’d like to confirm that this is indeed a real story.

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Saul cooks up a plan to send David on a suicide mission by promising him that he could marry his daughter Michal if he can come back with One Hundred Philistine foreskins. Now please note he’s not going to talk the Philistines into voluntarily chopping off the skin at the end of their dicks, he’s going to do it himself, by force. David goes out and slays the Philistines and comes back not with the measly price of one hundred foreskins but with TWO hundred. They are counted in front of Saul so there can be no confusion.

This is a book that people hand to children and say it contains invaluable wisdom for living your life even in today’s modern world. Wisdom like, women are worth a certain number of dead-man dick-tips AND that God can send evil spirits when he’s pissed off at you. Yes, such wonderful and endearing wisdom as war, barbarism and bloodshed so often depict.

We touched a little bit on Isaac earlier and how Abraham was ready to carve up his son as a burnt offering to God before God finally revealed it was all a test. An unnecessary test, of course, for God knows the contents of the heart of every man and would have no need of putting Isaac and Abraham through such hell.

But the aborted sacrifice of Isaac is not the only instance of human sacrifice to Yahweh. In fact in one Biblical story Yahweh directed and accepted the human sacrifice of a man’s daughter after giving him victory in battle. I am, of course, talking about Jephthah and his daughter, who, in true Biblical fashion, doesn’t even have a name. The spirit of the Lord comes upon Jephthah just before he goes to war and causes him to make a vow to God. If God grants him the victory he will give as a burnt offering the first thing that comes out his door to greet him.

Now it seems to our modern tastes that this is a foolish bet to make with God but this is in ancient times where the first thing that came out to meet him might well have been a goat, a donkey, or a chicken. Far animals were often kept on the first floor of houses in that day and age. However it does turn out to be a fucking stupid bet to make as Judges 11 records.

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After this his daughter actually volunteers to be sacrificed, goes off to weep for her virginity and then Jephthah does as he had promised and sacrifices her. Yahweh doesn’t intervene, he doesn’t come down and stop Jephthah at the last second. She is the only directly mentioned human sacrifice in all of scripture, other than Jesus, that Yahweh accepts as an offering. Only here one man and his poor brain-washed daughter are paying the price.

Outside the barbarism of the Old Testament the New Testament paints a picture of family relations that is not much better, although it doesn’t involve any foreskins or burning your own children (thank goodness). Rather it involves verses of scripture used to uphold the inequality of the sexes. The Bible is an absolutely terrifying book when it comes to how it treats women, they are second class citizens, chattle, and are made into slaves and property.

In the New Testament things improve only slightly. For example 1 Peter chapter 3 says that women should submit themselves to their husbands and that in their submission they would somehow help their husbands stay true to the path. It also says that they should call their husband lord and obey their commands. Women are later referred to as the weaker of the two sexes here:

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I’m not really a feminist per se but I certainly do not support the idea that women are the weaker sex or are somehow lesser than men are nor do I particularly find the idea that women should be submissive to their husbands compelling. Of course the Apostle Paul also has some advice to Christians on whether women should become leaders in Church.

2 Timothy claims that women are never to have authority over men, certainly not in spiritual matters and are not allowed to teach in Church. This sexist nonsense was supposedly authored by the Apostle Paul, a man who claimed to be in contact with Jesus and the creator of the whole Universe. 2 Timothy chapter two also blames women for the Fall of man and says that women can be saved through bearing children. The childbearing verse is one of two big verses that form the pillars of the so-called Quiverfull movement, a far-right Christian movement that seeks to have as many children as possible.

1 Corinthians doubles-down on the whole submission thing claiming that women with questions in Church ought to just wait for church to be over to ask their husband

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Most Christian women, especially evangelicals, like to ignore these passages, as Christian cherry-picking causes most Christians to ignore a great deal of what the Bible actually teaches and says. Wives are to be submissive, women aren’t to talk or preach and a wife can be bought for a certain price in foreskins and sometimes it might be necessary to murder your own daughter and burn her as a ritual human sacrifice and those are just some of the wonderfully fucked up things we learned from the Bible today!

Join me next time for further exploration of the fucked up and ridiculous nonsense of the Bible, a book written by ancient people for ancient people held up as some kind of moral guide in today’s world because thousands of years of brainwashing are just beginning to wear off now. Thanks for reading!

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The Bible is one of those books that just keeps on giving. You’d think there’d be a limit to the insane depravity of its God. I mean we’re talking about a being capable of anything, any wondrous miracle beyond imagination, who mercilessly drowns everyone because they won’t listen to him… even though he hasn’t been down to Earth to set any rules since that whole Eden thing went south.

You’d also think that burning people in a Lake of Fire for all eternity is pretty bad. Well some will suffer horrific fates evem BEFORE they burn forever. Today’s tale of horror from the ancient haunted crypt of Biblical bullshit is found in Jeremiah 19. The people in this story have been performing human sacrifices to Baal, Yahweh’s main enemy. Both Yahweh and Baal are storm gods, they bring thunder, smoke, fire from the sky and rain (see the story of Elijah testing Baal and Yahweh in 1 Kings).

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So people have been sacrificing children, you might expect such an act to piss God off pretty badly. I mean its hard to imagine anything more sick, twisted and delusional than killing a person or animal and using the blood and body parts as some kind of magical appeasement to call down the blessings of, or block the wrath of, an invisible supernatural force. Oh wait, that’s right, Yahweh likes sacrifices. If you read Jeremiah 19, and I hope you’ve already googled it by now and are reading, it never says Yahweh is upset about the act of human sacrifice itself (although it does mention the spilling of innocent blood). Rather it seems Yahweh is more keen on the fact that these sacrifices are to his main rival, Baal (from which we get the term Beelzebub).

So what rescue plan might we expect a good and righteous God to cook up and what fair but tough punishment might he bring down on the sickos who are sacrificing children on altars? Is it

A) He teleports the children to safety and traps the parents in the phantom zone

B) He sends the Israelites to get the children out and THEN sends down hellfire Sodom and Gomorrah style.

C) He causes great calamity and tragedy to befall the city in such a way that it will cause starvation leading to MASS CANNIBALISM specifically including parents devouring their sons and daughters. Forever the city will be cursed.

D) He does nothing.

It we were going by the real world answer, it would be D, since God doesn’t exist he doesn’t ACTUALLY do anything … BUT in the story the answer is actually C. C for tasty tasty Cannibalism.

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This stomach turning horseshit makes Yahweh out to be a completely petty jealous megalomaniac. His reaction to the idea that this cult is more popular than his and is SACRIFICING CHILDREN apparently doesn’t involve any rescue op to get these kids out of danger. In fact the kids endangered by these insane religious practices are just part of God’s revenge against Baal and his followers, destined to be devoured when the wrath starts pouring out.

So here’s where the obvious part comes in, God never did any of this shit, I mean story-wise his character did but since he doesn’t exist the cruelty here is either fictional or a representation of what the batshit crazy Israelites were doing to people via their sieges (driving them to acts of mass cannibalism) – probably the former option here. What we have is a story written by human beings, which is portraying the Israelites as a warlike people with a powerful and jealous God. To rally the troops and the people prophets often spoke for Yahweh and this case is no different, God’s voice is conveyed to us through the voice of the prophet, which is through the pen of someone else, which is through the translation of someone else, followed by another edit, than another translation, etc… on and on and on until it gets to us.

Fuck the Bible for promoting such a wretched idea as going to war so hard against another culture they devour their own children. No loving God, no loving human, would ever be in favor of this and there are no mental gymnastics or apologetic tricks that can take away the meaning of the words.

If you are willing to admit that this is just a story written by humans, that all the Bible is is stories to be judged o. their own merits apart from any presuppositions about their truth or about dire consequences for doubt, thank you.

And for those anti-theists and fellow atheists, don’t shy away from being passionate, angry or offensive. The BIBLE is offensive, it has caused, war, bloodshed and discrimination and STILL IS doing so around the world. Fuck that fucking book. Pick up your unholy hand grenades of truth and upside down crosses of reason, we have scripture to deconsecrate.

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There is no reason to be intimidated by any threats of hellfire or of them being “offended”. We are not beholden to their beliefs and do not owe their beliefs any more respect than we’d give to Scientology, crystal healing or any other outright bullshit and quackery. Merely because their parasitic belief system and evil book are embedded in our culture does not mean we should be afraid to speak out or worried about hurting feelings. The Bible is harmful, Christianity is harmful, stop babying believers.