Archives for category: Christianity

Alternatively Titled: Jesus told you to sell your possessions and give to the poor, so why haven’t you?

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If you’re a Christian, a sincere believer that following Christ and his teachings is the best way to store up treasure in Heaven, I have a very simple question – WHY do you own a computer or web-enabled phone?

This question might seem out of left field, after all almost everyone in modern society owns a cell phone that can browse the internet and many people also own a laptop, desktop or tablet to surf the web. But if the Jesus of the Gospels looked at most American Christians today he would rather perplexed by their behavior. Many of them buy fancy clothing and dress up each Sunday to go to Church, they own houses, multiple vehicles, computers and electronic devices, television sets and more clothes than they need.

While many Churches these days do help out the poor and hungry in our communities the average individual Christian does not follow Christ’s directions in the Gospels. Which directions am I talking about? Why the ones that tell Christians to sell their possessions, give the money to the poor, and hang out with and help out the poor at every opportunity.

There is no ambiguity in the Gospels that Jesus is preaching a Gospel of poverty. People, he says, should give no care of tomorrow and let tomorrow worry about itself for God will provide for them. And repeatedly, over and over again, Jesus tells those who wish to be followers to give away all of their possessions in order to follow him.

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Now there’s a handful of ways for modern Christians to skirt their way around this. They can pretend that Jesus was only talking to his followers in the 1st Century and not to those who would live thousands of years later… this kind of cherry-picking seems severely dishonest. Or those Christians could argue that God provided them the things they have, the cars, the money, the house, etc. The idea these people present, without any backing from the Bible, is that God has blessed them with Earthly treasure for their faithfulness.

Not only does this prosperity Gospel fly in the face of Christ’s actual teachings, which direct followers to give up Earthly goods to pursue treasures that are only in Heaven but it also doesn’t make any sense when you break it down. After all there are plenty of faithful devout believers who ARE homeless or poor and who can’t seem to catch a break and there are plenty of wealthy hypocrites and even wealthy non-Christians. So obviously being a sincere believer does not correspond to one’s worldly goods (duh). Jesus does say that God will provide food and clothing to wear but not any sort of riches or worldly things.

There is this weird contradiction I’ve noticed about many Christians here in America, the majority of them are REPUBLICANS. Republicans demonize the poor at almost every turn and deride the idea of their hard earned tax dollars going to help people on Welfare or Food Stamps. Yet this is exactly the sort of thing Christ wanted, people helping each other, helping to feed the poor, downtrodden or outcast. Jesus didn’t want Christians looking down on the poor, in fact Jesus liked to hang out with prostitutes and poor people an awful lot and only very rarely did he hang out with the wealthy.

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Jesus’ philosophy is almost self-destructively selfless. Turn the other cheek, give to those who steal from you even more than they take, bless those that curse you and love your enemies – and do not worry about tomorrow. Judge no one and be sure to remove the sin from your life before you criticize anyone. Help the poor and freely do miracles.

Yet why do we not see any verifiable evidence of miracles? Why do we not see Christians selling their worldly goods so that they can take up their cross and giving the money to the poor?

While I, obviously, do not agree with all of what Jesus says there is wisdom in some of it and while I do not think every American should give up everything they have to help the poor I think a more charitable attitude would help a great deal. Rather than despising those who are own Food Stamps are freeloaders perhaps Christians might look at them as Christ would have, as other fucking people who happen to be in a bad financial spot where they could use a little help to make ends meet.

Obviously this post is a bit different from other Fuck the Bible posts, because instead of saying Fuck the Bible, I am essentially pointing out that Christians aren’t following the book they purportedly think is the Word of God.

As I said though there’s plenty of self-destructive nonsense in what Jesus is talking about when he tells people not to resist an evil person but to submit to them. I understand that Christ was a pacifist (another fact many Christians would angrily disagree with) but he takes it to an extreme degree even telling his followers not to defend themselves. This seems like madness! If some burglar demands my wallet I am meant to give him my shoes as well? No thank you.

Jesus, being an apocalyptic prophet, believed that there was no reason to worry about tomorrow, the Kingdom of God was on its way. But today the advice to let tomorrow worry about itself is itself worrying. How can we possibly not worry about tomorrow? There are goals to be set and achieved, obstacles to overcome, and an uncertain future that we must attempt to shape as best we can. But, if, as Jesus believed, the world was fast coming to an end, there would be no reason to plan.

Dangerously there are some end-times minded Christians to this day who hold to the dangerous belief that the end is coming soon and that we don’t need to worry about abusing the planet and misusing our resources. They look forward to the end, to seeing God descend with fire and wrath and unleash slaughter on all the “evil people” of the world.

If you are a Christian reading this I wonder how closely you truly follow the word of your Savior. Do you keep the commandments, as Jesus instructs? Do you give to the poor regularly and keep yourself from becoming rich? (A rich man cannot pass into heaven, the Bible describes it as nearly impossible, as a camel passing through the eye of a needle). If you do keep the commandments very closely I wonder how you are even reading this, unless you’re at a local internet cafe or public library. Do you love Jesus more than your own family? Because if not you are unworthy. Have you ever been divorced and remarried, than Christ believes you are guilty of adultery, a capital offense in the Old Testament.

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How many demon have you cast out? How many miracles do you have under your belt? Because we are meant to know Christ’s followers by their “FRUITS” and if you are not bearing fruit Christ says you may be cut down and cast into the fire.

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If you don’t follow after Christ all that closely than I wonder WHY you believe in something you are unwilling or unable to follow. Why not discard it? Give the Bible a much closer examination and study how it came together and then decide whether the commandments are worth keeping and the beliefs worth holding onto. And if they are, then I bid you farewell as you will no doubt sell your possessions to follow Christ. If they aren’t worth believing then I hope you will one day join me when I say, Fuck the Bible.

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Alternatively Titled: God Stages a Mass Orgy and Kills innocent Children

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Probably the only thing harder than being a woman in the Bible is being a child. Not only are you subject to being taken prisoner as a spoil of war in the event that your parents are slaughtered in war with the Israelites but you may find yourself among those being slaughtered just because of your the sins of your parents. Yahweh often sends out the Israelites to do away with entire cities under the pretense that those people are somehow so evil and so corrupt that even the children and cattle deserve to be slaughtered.

But it isn’t just the bad side of the blood-thirsty Israelite army that you might end up on by no fault of your own, Yahweh is quite clear that children are subject to the sins of their parents in his eyes, not just in the eyes of his human killing squads. You might find yourself punished, held accountable, for the sins of something your ancestors have done.

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As you can see this verse is part of the 10 Commandments in the Bible, part that everyone ignores or glosses over. No Christian has ever given two shits about the Graven Images commandment (except maybe the Amish), they even have crucifixes with Jesus on them, Nativity Scenes – they break this commandment all the time, blatantly, and give 0 fucks. And of course this is one of the Biblical passages that suggests Yahweh will punish people for sin that their parents, grand parents, great grand parents, etc, committed.

Of course the idea of punishing someone for someone else’s mistakes is an affront to the basic concept of justice and fairness that no modern person would be dumb enough to support. And yet, God it allowed to be as barbaric and immoral as the ancient people that created him and people will defend him.

But you might be wondering about when this involved killing children… Well of course the biggest instance is the revenge God gets against Pharaoh in the book of Exodus. God, having repeatedly hardened Pharaoh’s heart so that he can finish all 10 unnecessary and evil plagues, takes his ultimate revenge by killing the first born children of Egypt.

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This action by Yahweh is revenge, make no mistake, for earlier in the story Pharaoh has the Hebrew children killed. So for the sin of Pharaoh, for the sins of the Egyptians, children are made to pay the ultimate price. (And remember folks death is the ultimate price as Christians often say that Jesus paid the ultimate price).

Of course Yahweh’s thirst for revenge isn’t limited to the grandiose show-boating he does in the Exodus. Take the story of King David. After sleeping with a married woman named Bathsheba, a deed normally punishable by death in the Old Testament, God decides to commute David’s sentence. David also had Bathsheba’s husband, a soldier, purposely moved to the front lines so that he would get killed. David’s punishment will be to witness someone raping  his wives, his Concubines. (The story is in 2 Samuel 11 and 12 if you’d like to read it).

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At worst this is God having a bunch of women raped, but even if we assume that consent was given at best God is staging a massive reverse gangbang orgy in order to punish David.

The child murder comes a bit later when Nathan, God’s prophet, reveals to David that Bathsheba’s child will die. God is going to kill the baby. The baby is born sickly, suffers for seven protracted days of God’s vengeance, before finally succumbing to death.

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So God murders children and infants, and sometimes stages mass public orgies, all to punish sins. Of course people will say that Jesus made all of this better, as if somehow Jesus’ death absolves their primitive morally backwards God of his sins as well. Fuck those stupid excuses and as always fuck the Bible.

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Remember, Obi-Wan paid the ultimate price…

Alternatively titled: Is it Okay to Beat my Child… and when I can I murder them?

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For centuries Christians have used the Bible as an excuse to beat their children. Of course before society solidified enough to give us laws protecting the innocent miniature humans known as children beating your kids was widely considered acceptable discipline. Even in today’s world certain forms of physical punishment are legal in certain parts of the Western civilized world. But there is a difference between a hand smacking a child’s hand away from a hot stove and getting a branch, a rod or another device that will actually leave a serious mark.

Child abuse is a horribly immoral thing so you’d think that the Bible, a book inspired by the infinitely wise and merciful creator of the Universe, would outright condemn the abuse of children. Except that it doesn’t, ever, at all. In fact the Bible is quite in favor of beating your children. Numerous verses claim that beating your child is not only morally okay but its actually beneficial to the child later in life.

Often lauded as the wisest book of the Bible Proverbs, credited to King Solomon himself (though of unknown authorship), tells us that children should be beaten.

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Later on in the book we are told that children who disobey their parents should have their eyes plucked out by a raven. How wonderfully wise and merciful! Yes what a truly beautiful sentiment to put down on paper!

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Sarcasm aside this is a rather frightening set of passages, although certainly not as severe in their wickedness as other passages I’ve talked about on this blog. It does seem odd that a God would inspire these passages. What, exactly, is God’s obsession with the Earthly authority parents have over their children that would cause him to inspire such cruel proverbial teachings?

Sometimes a beating is not enough. Sometimes it will be necessary to stone your child to death. Sometimes, when your child is rebellious enough, you may have to gather together everyone in town to hit them with rocks until they are bloodied, broken, and just plain fucking dead.

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Aside from cursing your Father or Mother the Bible offers another instance in which a child should be put to death – if that child is rebellious, gluttonous and drunk they should be stoned to death.

Most people would probably try an intervention first, perhaps alcoholics anonymous or some other therapy group (somewhat ironically Alcoholics Anonymous is a religious institution that requires you to call on a higher power to break your addiction, rebellious children shouldn’t call on Yahweh). If your kid won’t listen to you after you’ve talked to him about his ways there is only one Biblical solution – take your kid and stone them to death, they are evil. In today’s society there is question as to whether capital punishment is a moral thing in the first place and there are Christians that would object to the death penalty. Yet the Bible is clear on a whole host of issues that are deserving of the death penalty.

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So let’s look at another passage that reflects the Bible’s “Family Values”. What should Christians and Jews do when a member of their family turns to another religion. Let’s say your Niece becomes a neo-pagan for whatever reason or your Brother is a Wiccan or your dear Auntie Edna is a Hindu… what do you do when they begin talking about their religion and trying to get you to join them?

Do you,

A) Politely decline and agree to disagree on the subject of religion

B) Get into a Heated Religious Debate

C) Stop talking to them and even ignore them at Thanksgiving Dinner

D) Gather everyone together and stone them to death, you and your family MUST be first to cast stones and participate in the brutal execution

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So as you can see the correct answer is actually D. See following some other faith or worshiping some other God is a capital offense in the Bible, it is punishable by one thing and one thing only – DEATH. Just like Islamic scriptures calling for unbelievers to be smited (smote?) the Bible is clear that those who worship other gods are deserving of DEATH.

And of course in this case you have to stone your own family together? Ask yourself, Christians, would you be willing to hurl stones at a loved one because they worshiped another God and watch the life leave their eyes? Do you have the bile, hate and evil in your heart to follow the word of God?

I know, I know, I know what you’re saying. Jesus says he who is without sin should cast the first stone. Jesus came and he gave us a new way to live and that includes a new way to deal with our families right?

Right.

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Please people take the time to actually read your Bibles.

Because its fucking atrocious, its filled with awful laws, evil “morals”, and depicts a stupid, cruel, self-contradictory God that is so stupid and evil it can only be man-made. Stay-tuned for my next post which will also be about the unsavory ways in which Biblical characters and stories completely demolish the notion that the Bible is the good book and its God anything other than an evil invention of sadistic primitive minds.

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Alternatively Titled: One Night in Sodom makes a Strong Man Crumble 

Few stories are more depraved and insane than the Biblical story of the scorching of Sodom and Gomorrah found in Genesis. God doesn’t merely unleash wrath he decimates and entire city and turns one woman into a pillar of salt for the mere act of looking over her shoulder at the desolation. Prefacing the story is Lot’s decision to move to near the cities, just outside the gates, until two apparently gorgeous angels show up. Almost immediately they are surrounded by an angry mob of perverts who want to gangbang the two angels that are staying in Lot’s house.

So what does Lot do? In one of the most disgusting and obviously anti-woman moments of the Bible Lot offers his two VIRGIN daughters up to the mob to be raped, lest a hand be laid on God’s angels. True to Biblical morality Lot shows that what’s really valuable in life isn’t your family but your relationship with the all powerful dictator in the sky. Let an angry mob rape your own daughters for God? SURE you would, IF you were a righteous man. And yes Lot is meant to be righteous in this story, after all he’s the one God has chosen to spare the wrath that’s about to fall.

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Of course Lot later spends his time in a cave getting drunk and fucking and impregnating both of his OWN DAUGHTERS. Or, if you prefer the version that saves Lot some dignity, his daughters rape him by getting him drunk enough to have sex with them. Oh what wonderful family friendly fun the Bible is chock full of! It’s TOTALLY not an absurd book of mythology written by anonymous Iron Age zealots over the course of centuries, edited and translated multiple times and then arbitrarily smashed together by the Roman Emperor and his friends.

But this blog post isn’t about Lot and Sodom and Gomorrah or my dripping sarcasm, it’s about a later re-telling of the story found in the book of Judges which actually ups the ante on the barbarism, sexual violence and bloodshed of the original story. So kindly get out your Bible and turn to Judges 19.

The Bible retells a lot of stories in fact there has been some great scholarship out there which shows that many stories of Jesus’ life and miracles are re-tellings of Old Testament stories that borrow language directly from the Septuagint, the Greek Old Testament.

Here in Judges however we get an upgrade of the anti-woman themes of the Bible to an extreme level. At the beginning of the story a man visits the Father of his “wife”. I say the word wife but the actual word here is translated as Concubine all 37 times its used in the Bible. A Concubine for those unfamiliar is like a mistress but back then, since women were seen as lesser, men were allowed to have such extra women around. So our mysterious man goes to retrieve his Concubine after she leaves him to return to her Father’s house.

After some stalling from the Father the man get’s fed up and leaves with his Concubine in tow. They decide to stop in a town called Gibeah and an old man offers to take them into his house and treat them. Almost immediately the house is surrounded and guess who it is, it’s the rape mob from the story of Sodom and Gomorrah – this time they’ve come to rape the old man ‘s house guest. So what happens?

Just like in the story of Lot two people are offered to sate the lust of the crowd. Once again the man who owns the house offers his own virgin daughter but he also offers the crowd the Concubine of his guest. Keep in mind that in this version there are no angels to protect, the only ass this guy is saving is that of his house guest, by throwing two people out to be raped. The Concubine is raped, brutally abused, in this version of the story.

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She isn’t even a consenting partner to the relationship she’s already in as she starts this story trying to leave her master. She is dragged along against her will and what does he do? He sends her out to be raped instead of taking it himself. And the verses of scripture, in this book Christians hand to little kids and tell them to believe, says that she was raped UNTIL DAWN at which time they let her go.

Fuck this fucking book

At any rate the story actually manages to get worse. The man collects his brutalized Concubine and here the text implies she has actually been RAPED TO DEATH, he takes her and cuts her into pieces mailing the pieces out like a deranged serial murderer in a bad CSI spin-off. This sickening shit is actually IN THE BIBLE that billions of people on this planet revere as a holy book. Don’t believe me? You should be reading along. The man commits this heinous act because he wants to motivate the Israelites into a war against the city of Gibeah because they raped her. Even though his decision to let her be sent out there, instead of him going out, is why she ended up raped to death to begin with.

You may be sitting there fuming saying, “yes but God didn’t condone any of this!”

And you’d be wrong. Reading along into Judges 20 God actually helps the Israelites conduct the war. He never condemns the man for his actions in having his Concubine raped  and then dismembering her. He never condemns the blood-thirsty way the Israelites seek revenge. He sends the Israelites out to fight and a massive war takes place.

What level of violence and bloodshed ensues? Tens of thousands are slaughtered and killed in the war that follows, a war directed by God and started by a madman who cut up his own Concubine after sending her out to be violently raped for an entire night.

This is a book Christians call Holy, this is a book they deliver into the hands of unsuspecting children and tell them its all true. And they brow beat them with threats of Hell, with threats of real-world reprisal, if they question this book. They tell them its not just A good book but its THE good book to end all good books. This is an obvious pile of horseshit to anyone who has actually read the damn book without the helplessly ignorant faith of an indoctrinated child or the willfully ignorant faith of someone self-deceived. Children naturally listen to what their parents teach them and religion insidiously takes advantage of this by spilling ancient lies into the minds of young people all over the world.

Fuck the Bible. Fuck it all throughout the night and do not allow it to go until dawn and then hack it into pieces and mail it to every Christian who has not actually taken the time to read it and digest its pages.

Please share this page if you agree that the Bible needs to be exposed for what it is and its vile contents disemboweled in the public square.

This first post is just meant to give some idea as to what this blog will consist of and why it exists.

I am much more confident in declaring what I know to be false than in asserting what is actually true. If there is one thing I know with unflinching certainty it is that the Bible, the collection of myths, fables and historical fictions, depicts in its pages one of the most monstrously evil deities ever concocted by the minds of men. The Bible is not just bullshit, it’s DANGEROUS bullshit, believed by billions of people worldwide. Some of these people appear to be rational and reasonable but somewhere in their minds is the poison of religion.

The stinger of being indoctrinated into the death cult that is Christianity has many barbs and for so many it is a lifelong affliction. For some the toxin digs deep, permeating through every thought process, blurring the lines between actual mental illness and batshit crazy religious irrationality. For others it is a cultural thing, something to do to strengthen ones resolve, to be comforted and to merely have a sense of community, belonging and love.

Unfortunately for those Christians who are pleasantly entranced by their religious beliefs the truth of the Bible is far from pleasant.

In this blog I will look at the Bible from a point of absolute rejection of its central premises, its fumbling attempts at morality and its more bizarre and little known passages. Above all the goal of #FucktheBible is to get people to actually read the Bible and come to the conclusion that its God is the product of mankind making shit up. You may think having Christians reach the conclusion that the God of the Bible is imaginary is an unreasonable goal BUT they ALREADY believe that for 99.9% of all other gods that ever existed.

How does the desert God Yahweh/El hold up against scrutiny? How do the behaviors, actions, attitudes and attributes of this God indicative of his being designed by humans? This blog will explore scripture and doctrine to expose Christianity and its scripture as an anti-human death cult centered around ritual blood-magic that culminated in a brutal human sacrifice all while being built upon Judaism, a vile bronze age mythology and set of amazingly unjust laws.

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