Alternatively Titled: Genocide, Murder and Rape in Genesis

The Bible is a collection of completely human-made stories and myths, well really I should say man-made since no woman ever contributed to the Bible. The Bible, after all, is very primitive and immoral in its view and treatment of women. One doesn’t have to read far into the Bible to realize how primitive and obviously human a creation it is… but then most Christians don’t read their Bibles from front to back, they jump around cherry-picking. It’s the reason why the story of David and Goliath is one of maybe three stories involving King David that the average Christian even knows, because your local pastor knows what scriptures to avoid and what ones he can work into a sermon.

God’s actions in Genesis are a mix of his typical evil bullshit and basic incompetence betraying the fact that the ancient Jews who wrote Genesis did not believe in the omnipotent omniscience disembodied mind that God has become today. Rather the God of Genesis, walks, talks and can even have his mind changed by human beings.

I could talk about any number of stories from Genesis. The Flood, God’s worldwide ethnic cleansing in which infants, children, and animals are all slaughtered for the sins of the rest of humanity. I could talk about the Tower of Babel, where God somehow fears that human beings will build an actual stairway to heaven tall enough to reach him and thus, in his fear, he decides to cast a spell on everyone creating the languages of the Earth.

Really though I think I will start even earlier, with the story of Cain and Abel in Genesis 4. Cain and Abel are the first human beings to offer God offerings. God, being that he is the primitive creation of ancient people, prefers Abel’s offering of dead animal parts with favor but looks on Cain’s offerings of vegetable matter not-so-favorably. The Bible never tells us why God requires rituals and blood-magic as offerings but for the ancient superstitious people that wrote this stuff it would have likely seemed obvious that such things were what God wanted.

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The story also never tells why God doesn’t like fruits and veggies. It makes very little sense as God created all things and had previously declared his creation GOOD. One would assume that God would therefore look upon Cain and Abel’s offerings, and the toil it took to gain them, equally. In fact its arguable that Abel’s offering is morally lesser, as it involves the suffering of an animal.

Either way Cain is jealous and kills his brother. God arrives and God apparently doesn’t know where Abel is because he asks Cain. Now conventional Christianity holds that the “wages of sin is death” so one would think that God might strike down Cain. Instead God banishes Cain from his little plot of land and tells him that he will be a wanderer for all time. Cain laments that surely those who discover him will kill him, presumably for what he’s done. I’m not sure who Cain is worried about killing him, unless he thinks that Adam and Eve will murder their only remaining son for his act of murdering their other son.

We have to assume he’s talking about his Mother and Father, Adam and Eve, because there aren’t any OTHER people yet. God, stupid fucker that he is, has created a massive population bottleneck when it comes to human beings and the only way out, unless he creates some more people, is for Adam and Eve’s kids to commit incest in order to populate the Earth. The Bible never solves this issue.

God shows mercy to Cain for some reason and places a “mark” on Cain that somehow prevents people from murdering him.

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The next verses are rather confusing. Cain fucks his wife, has a son and starts building his own city. Now unless the book of Genesis takes place in Minecraft this makes very little sense. For one thing where did Cain’s wife come from? For another thing what benefit is a city for a family of three? And how does Cain plan to feed his family when God has just cursed him to be permanently bad at agriculture? I suppose he’ll just go into the city and buy food in the markets? The markets that no one works at because a city can’t be for three people.

Another point of interest in this story is that Cain departs from the presence of the Lord by way of going to a place called Nod. God’s presence, in the book of Genesis, appears to have a limited geographic range.

Later on in Genesis, when we get into the Abraham story, there is an interesting visitation of God into Abraham’s life. In reading Genesis Chapter 18, in which this story takes place, remember that in Genesis 3 God walked in the Garden AND couldn’t find Adam and Eve when they hid themselves so he had to audibly call out to them.

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In Genesis 18 we have the story of Abraham being visited by three men. Interpretations of who these three men vary wildly. Regardless of who they are one of the men must be Yahweh himself because he begins talking to Abraham after Abraham prepares a feast. God tells Abraham that Sarah will have a child, despite the fact that Sarah is beyond the child-bearing age and Abraham is also far too old. Sarah disbelieves and scoffs at the idea.

God and Abraham depart the tent and God begins telling Abraham about his plan to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah because they have been so corrupt. But God isn’t sure if the wickedness is as bad as the terrible things he’s heard out of Sodom. Yes God it seems is NOT omniscient in the book of Genesis. God does not know whether or not he’s going to have to destroy the city.

Abraham actually calls God’s morality into question, begging Yahweh not to destroy the innocent alongside the wicked in Sodom and Gomorrah. So Yahweh makes a deal with Abraham that if he can find fifty righteous people in the city he won’t rain down hellfire on it. What comes next can only be described as haggling, and yet, despite the fact that it is God Abraham is arguing with, it works.

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Here is Abraham trying to talk Yahweh out of his genocidal tendencies and actually managing to make some headway! Kudos to Abraham for showing himself to be more moral than the God he serves, though that changes later on God asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac and Abraham was actually going to go through with it – a test that an omniscient God would have no need of running, but the Biblical God in Genesis is NOT all-knowing!

The last Genesis story I want to touch on comes from Genesis Chapter 34 and demonstrates how the Bible treats women. As the story opens Jacob’s daughter Dinah has caught the eye of a man named Shechem, who is a Hivite and not one of God’s chosen people. Shechem jumps the gun and rapes poor Dinah. After he rapes her he decides its for the best if he goes through the direct channels to try to earn her hand in marriage. Now an ordinary moral human being might think that the correct channels would be for Shechem to have asked Dinah to marry her…

But no, in the Bible we have a strict system of arranged marriages (or else selling your daughter into slavery, brides had a PRICE). A daughter was like any other possession and she had something of powerful value, her virginity. Dinah’s family is angry about the whole rape thing but Hamor and Shechem call a meeting between the families. Hamor and Shechem petition Jacob and his sons that their families should intermarry, offering a marital exchange of daughters so that they can all combine forces. The girls have no say in this, they are pieces of property to be moved around, married off in marriages of convenience to help build wealth and social ties.

Jacob and company trick Hamor and Shechem into a deal in which Hamor’s entire group has to get circumcised (because God hates foreskins even though he created them). For some stupid fucking reason Hamor and Shechem agree and their entire group get circumcised. Then, while their enemies are injured, Jacob’s sons move in for the kill raiding the entire city and killing all the men.

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And once again they take the women and children as plunder, spoils of war, to be done with whatever they will. Fuck the Bible. Fuck this barbaric horseshit. Why do people pretend this is the Good Book? If this is your idea of good you can fuck right off.

So I’d say that leaves Yahweh in the scrap-heap of history where he belongs. But let’s hear what Sarah Connor has to say –

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